Ok so here is where I am at today, now that all my friends seem to be in their own “life bags”, I find myself now having conversations with them about having babies, getting married; making houses a “home”, etc. Conversations have changed a lot in the last year or so and I have to say while it seems like it happened overnight, it is actually refreshing. Thankfully I wasn’t surrounded around a bunch of women wearing “I am single hear me roar” t-shirts. I am not sure why it is necessary, while I’m not knocking being single, I have spent most of my adulthood and life for that matter as a single woman and it’s been a great ride, I did a lot and did not have to worry about dividing my time. I don’t want to go into this entire list of what I didn’t have to do or could do as a single girl because let’s face it I just did stuff a single person would do! LOL I am always amazed at the lengths people go to, to announce their singledom. I think some people think if you admit that if they want to be in a relationship or have a family they are saying they can’t be alone, and I disagree. You are just admitting you want more or something different. At the same time I know quite a few people who are never single, they always have someone and I think that has a deeper meaning than the surface can show and quite possibly could be another blog entry. Any who, I’ve had my fair share of chilling at home by myself, entertaining myself when my friends were entertaining relationships. There were plenty of times I enjoyed the quiet and there were plenty of times I didn’t. I am keeping it FUNKY (real)! (Took that from a friend) LOL Its life at some point we are all single and yes it is most certainly important to be comfortable in your own skin, being alone and happy. But I have to be honest, I am getting older and there comes a point when you want something else, something more.
It could just be me; I grew up with 3 siblings and a mother and father, in the home. Granted 2 of my “sibs” were my “blended family” so I only saw them every other weekends and lots more during the summers. My grandparents were together my whole life thus far until they passed away, and my mom’s brothers are married to the only women I have ever seen them with. So it is not unusual for me to believe in Love or sharing my life with someone. It seems like my adulthood up to this point has been a bunch of puzzle pieces I was trying to find and put together. I started with finding the pieces of me; finding pieces of me through a job, finding pieces of me through my friendships and finding pieces of me through my family. It was a long battle but I think I get it now, and although it’s not a complete puzzle I see enough of the picture to see where I’m going. I have seen it start to unfold; my conversations alone are proving that. For so long I swear, I have been about this friend and that friend and then some more friends and all their lives. It’s like I was in a race to see how many friends I could get in my lifetime. Although I’m not sure what the prize was, when all was said and done all I got was burnt out! I had too many stories in my head of everyone’s lives for one sane person to comprehend and filter and I finally took my “Save-a-Friend” Cape off, shredded and then burned it, on purpose!
I love my TRUE friends and I’m proud of all of US for the growth and accomplishments we have achieved thus far and even though some are moving into phases that others are not sure about or otherwise not so interested in yet. I find that it’s okay, at one point I had a hard time accepting when my friends were doing other things that I wasn’t but the maturity came and I realized its life and just because we start to move in different areas doesn’t mean the friendship goes away, it just means the friendship moves to another phase as well. I think it is great to have a great friends in your life, and a balanced sense of who you are alone or attached, but it’s also not bad if you want to share that with someone either. So whether you are putting your puzzle together alone or you have help, enjoy the search for your pieces, I’m certainly having fun putting mine together! J
Jae
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