Just believe it!!

Today I am talking to myself here but I figured maybe someone else could use this word of encouragement too. Last year I had a pretty tough year, probably one of my BIGGEST TEST thus far in my 33 years of existence. I say that because it was filled with so many emotions, thoughts and just stuff I just can’t believe it was just in 2010. I decided I had to really get to the heart of me and my thinking and I needed to find my answers in God, now I am not here to be all preachy and have people catching the holy ghost. I told myself that I would get more spiritually connected for my OWN sake. It was not about just going to church every Sunday, ok not every Sunday but you know what I mean. It was about me knowing God and relying on him when my days just seemed to not make any sense. So I shut down, I stop talking to everyone but God about my “issues”. Each day I would try to teach myself the bible by seeking out verses based on my feelings, then I took it a step further by finding daily devotionals then I stumbled upon Joel Osteen’s book It’s Your Time. It was the first thing I read that really taught me that your thinking controls your life. I immediately realized I was the root of all my problems, yes I could easily say this person was this and they did that but ultimately the aura of my life was a pit of negativity because I let every downfall consume me. I went a step further after reading Joel’s book, which by the way I recommend to everyone!! I opened up one of my old journals, that I have kept since I was 17, now if you recall I mentioned my age in the beginning so I basically have written documentation of my life overall for the last 15 or so years. But the one thing I noticed about the last 6 or 7 years was that it was so depressing to read, I literally sat there and was like “OMG was this really me??” I knew I had to change that because I was writing it down, making it permanent and therefore it was setting my moods and I didn’t even know it. It was like the screenplay of my life and it was terrible, I would NEVER go see that movie. LOL

Around this same time my mom bought me a new journal and I vowed that with my first new entry of the New Year, no longer would I fill any pages with anything negative, the first step in having Faith is believing what is unseen. So even if it sounded farfetched initially I would write something positive and forward speaking or I would not write at all! I’m happy to say that 5 months later I can now open my journal on a not so Fabulous day and find inspiration in my own words. I thumbed through one of my old journals the other day and came to a page that said “my mom is convinced that I really need to start thinking happy, positive thoughts because I’m in such a funk from dwelling on the things that are going wrong.” I had to laugh because 4 years later I am finally doing that, of course when I told my mom that, in true mom fashion she says you didn’t believe me when I said it you had to hear it from someone else. I laughed and said no it just took me 4 years to get it! I will add, that only happened because I got quiet with myself and then stepped outside of myself to see the role I was playing in my life.

It is really amazing how when you change your outlook the things you look at change. Since I am heavy with my daily inspirations I believe God is now speaking to me through them, every day I listen to a sermon by Joel Osteen or Joyce Meyers, I also read their daily devotionals as well as Daily Christ Bible Notes and Purpose Driven Life. As of lately, based on my opinion of my growing relationship with God I find all the messages carry the same theme some weeks and its usually those weeks it is taking me a little longer to let something go. So ironically this past week was about FAITH, FAITH and more FAITH. Believing in the unseen, trusting the faithfulness of God and believing it has already been given to you, “IT” being whatever you are hoping for and praying for. So I will leave you with that, let’s all start this week off right by believing whatever it is we are praying for has already been given to us, if we live like that it will make the “going through stuff” much easier.

Happy Monday!

K.I.S.S.

Jae