PATIENCE: Wait for it.....

Patience continues to be the area I struggle with the most. I am pushing  myself to overcome it, because I will admit sometimes it keeps me from enjoying the moment of life I am in at that time. Lately, a few things tend to get me antsy, my job and my relationship. In both areas I am running this race of where I think in my head I should be with both. My relationship has had some challenges, quite a number of them to be honest and that would most certainly lead us into another blog entry.  I believe that we should just move beyond the issues (overnight) and get going to the next phase. However, I believe everything happens for a reason and because I trust God I trust that everything will be okay and happen as it should, when it should. Of course I can say that last part faster than it takes to manifest. It is a process that is actually teaching me a lot about myself, for one slowing down and really getting to know a person for all that they are and getting to know myself.  I am amazed at what I did not consider in relationships previously! Number 1 lesson in patience is growth. 

Coming in for a close tie is my job, I have been blessed with a job that brought me back to the area I believe I belong in after 10 months of unemployment. Initially, I was going to embark on a new adventure and get things done in an effort to propel me forward, only several things happened, I didn’t think it totally through, I did not address the doubt I was having about the move. Once I had made the move everything changed and it was more than I could handle, even the ever-changing easily bored Sagittarius in me was on a roller coaster ride I was desperate to get off of. So what happened I wanted instant fix, I didn’t want to go back to what was going on before but I wanted some things to come back and again it took 10 months for it all to come together and in the end I have to say the things I set out to change and learn about myself still happened and although it was the most stressful, emotional, uphill battle of my 32 years of life I can honestly say it was well worth it. To see how far I have come, it has taken my struggle of patience up a notch, I have learned the value of “waiting”, a little bit. It won’t happen overnight but I refuse to believe I am incapable of being patient especially when I know that by being patient I am also exercising my faith. I read somewhere that Faith is daring the soul to look beyond what the eye can see. When I think about it, because I have a personal relationship with God I know that is one thing he asks of us to trust him and have Faith, not knowing what is ahead but knowing that it will all be worth it in the end.

So I know I am not alone on this plight to live the best possible life we can live, but what we must do is remain in the moment and know that with Faith and Patience everything we seek to have in life, will be given to us, when the time is right.

"Do YOU Boo-Boo..."

                So I know it’s been a few days, and I must say life is moving along nicely! J I am learning to embrace my days and live in the moment! I stopped and thanked God this morning, again specifically for bringing me to the place I am today which is a complete 180 from where I was last year this time. I am so incredibly happy, no negativity in me or around me! Last year this time I was an emotional basket case, I’m not even going to sugarcoat it. My life changed drastically in more ways than I imagined! However, that was then and now, NOW I have this amazing peace within me. I just read in one of my morning devotionals how God has a plan for our lives and its God’s race we are to run, not someone else’s. I have no problems admitting I had influence in my life by my friends and what they had accomplished or had that I didn’t. I had influence on making decisions from my family, for so long I trusted my mom and sisters judgment and it went on for so long that when I attempted to make my own decisions I got side eyes and comments and I cannot totally blame them because I allowed it to happen for so long that when I tried to break free they couldn’t really understand it because it was the way we all knew for so long. Last year I made a few decisions that I have prayed for God to release the regret I feel about them. When I think back on them I am not sure if I completely made them with 100% confidence on my end, I know for some instances I had doubts but I thought if I changed my mind people would comment about my intentions. Little did I know I should have done what felt right to ME because what I soon learned was that nobody is perfect and that at the end of the day my life is just that, MY LIFE! I may not quote this correctly, but a friend of my mine told me a saying her pastor used at church one morning and she shared it with me after a conversation we were having, “Don’t let people do your thinking, because they can’t do your living”. Now again that may not be a direct quote but that is the gist of it and it makes so much sense.

                  I decided to make decisions that were in my best interest, no matter what anyone thinks or says. I knew it would come with tension in the air, and trust me it got silent real quick in my life once I decided to totally follow what I believe is not so much my plan but God’s, in fact I think that is where some of the problems arose, I was trying so hard, I mean so hard to make my life make sense to me that I was going to drastic measures to make it “better”. I put that in quotations because in my mind my life was not at all what I thought it would be at 30 something but you know what it was that exact thinking that stunted my growth. I set limitations on my life when I assumed I should “be” somewhere that I currently wasn’t. God knows my plan and every day I am more and more comfortable using his map to guide me along this race! As you set off today, probably prepping for a 3 days weekend, just remember live the best life you can live for you. To quote my fave comedian, Kevin Hart, “Do YOU Boo-Boo”. LOL

K.I.S.S.

Jae :)